MessageIts gonna be a long message.pls juz read and bear with it.
Iam skipping to the part of What happen to my life today..rite now,i juz wana post a MESSAGE to someone whom i admire rite now..and i hope she gets what iam trying to tell her.Cause iam soo wanna speak out what ive been really feeling all this time..haiz..damm it...here goes...
Look Genesis,i Know i said i like you,yet we cant be together.But still,from the VERY first start you saw me,you really look up to me and respected me.but now,Why must you change and stop respecting me?..i mean,yea.He was right when he said iam the ONLY one who cares for you alot. From getting you a Lime when you needed it for lunch,me not minding that you putting your head at my shoulders,you drinking my water when i know its ok to share with you,and juz simple things like this,i really care for you..
For big things like when you make me angry,i still care for you when you make me angry.its juz the way i am cause i really like you.But yet,why must you really be so cold and ill treat yet hurt me alot?From Backstabbing me,to calling me THAT word,from sayin i Suck in Playing when thats difficult for me to accept since iam a sec4,from you LOOKING down on me when i DIDNT promote to sec5 and am going to ITE..
I met you,juz 2 months ago..and for the 3 days i met you,u respected me alot.but about 2 weeks later..you juz lost respect from me cause you knew that i started to Like you.Yea..i cant FORCE respect cause ive got to Gain respect by earning it and not forcing you to respect me.but still,why must you be soo bad towards me?Even juz now when 5 of us had to talk and you juz said you would rather listen to HIM more than rather listening to me.yea,iam not jealous that you listen to him more since you and him are bestfriends...but yet,the way you said it towards me was juz damm freaking cold.Too cold enough that i had Enough of you being in my life..and to much hating that i have from you.The very first reason why i come your band was because i started to REALLY love your band.but yet,as i went there more often,there was another reason why i was going there.it was because i started to fall for you.
I really dont want you to be out of my life..yet i really dont want you not to respect me...i just want it the way it was when the first time you met me.with THAT image see in my when you saw me for the first time.that image it what i want..but...iam really juz damm hurt already..its really really painful when you can juz joke about this kinds of things when iam already being hurt enough...you said we have this "relationship" we had.and rite now...iam juz so angry and sad and sooo damm fucking hurt that i rather not want you as my JUNIOR,my friend,my girlfriend nor should i have even met you...
cause its really painful...very very painful that u cant even see that iam crying inside while typing this..juz pls...change yourself..cause.its not fun anymore..if u continue to be like this.....you wld be the reason why i wont be coming to your band anymore nor should i even talk t you again...cause..its really to unbearable for me to accept this hurtings..its juz soo fucking too much..
Iam not asking us to be together forever..cause,i juz like being by your side..guess..i cant even have that cause its really TOO complicated for us both..and if your really think i suck and who would want to deserve me...then i guess..i juz wanna thank you for being apart of my life then...cause,i know you dont have the same feeling for me as i have for you...i love you,yet,if you cant be with me..at least try to change..change to a better person..
I dont wanna leave you..yet your making me want to..i dont wanna hate you...yet your trying me to become to hate you..i dont wanna blame you..yet you juz keep repeating the same mistakes..i dont wan you to keep saying sorry to me..yet everytime u say it,you would go back and do the same mistakes again and again...i dont want to break any of my relationship with you..yet you juz cant change...i dont want you to look down on me,so how can i trust you?.....
and i dont wanna stop loving you...but yet...you keep and keep trying to stop me from loving you..
You can call me if u want to...call me at Nite after my work..i'll be having work from Sat~Mon ending at 930pm and me coming home bout 1030pm.call me at 11pm..cause..i wanna talk to you.Juz call my house since you know i dont have a freaking damm phone as its confiscated...Juz call me..
